Lying and Cheating: among other Acts of Chicanery

Snake Eyes lamented wearing her favorite suit to the game tonight.

The grey furred mare was dragged into the alley behind 54th Avenue Bar and Grill. The resteraunt was a well known den of gambling and indulgences, nestled into the alleyways and back roads of the market district.

Snake Eyes was about to be cashed out. The mare was forced onto her knees, and one of the stallions grabbed her mane and wrenched her head to face him.

"You didn' think you could actually getaway wid dis, didja?" The largest of the three earth pony thugs slowly put on an iron horseshoe.

Snake Eyes grinned from behind her aviator's "Well see'in as your all as dumb as a bag of hammers, I just thought it just wouldn't hurt to slip in a couple extra cards, could it?"

The other two stallions braced themselves as the largest slammed the iron horseshoe across Snake's face. She grunted as her aviators went flying into a corner. Blood blossomed from her nose and mouth as her head hung limp.

"Faust. Whats up with yer eyes?" One of the stallions pointed to her.

Her irises were slit, like a snake, and crimson red. She instantly closed her eyes and held them tight. "Nonononononono..." She whispered. One of the stallions couldn't overcome his curiousity and bent over to try and pry her eyelids open.

Snake Eyes lurched foreward blindly, snapping her jaws.

"Buck! She bit me!" The stallion recoiled sharply and slapped her. "Come on boys, lets teach this freak a lesson." They kicked her over and started to beat and strike her.

Snake Eyes curled up into a ball with her hooves over her head. this was not the first time she was beaten up, nor would it be the last.

May, who had been loitering outside in the alley, noticed a mare being forced out of the building. She was being beat up, and May had to suppress a laugh.

She took her knife out and casually tossed it around as she strolled up to the group.

"Hello," she said boredly, "is there an issue here?"

She cocked an eyebrow at the stallion wearing an iron horseshoe. Her dagger spun around in the air and she caught it by the hilt.

The head stallion turned around to face the smaller mare threateningly.

"No issue unless you wanna make somethin of it, Doll face. Why don't you be a peach and get back to your kitchen."

Snake Eyes grunted as the other stallions continued to hit her. "Atta boy. Go and revert back to your damn Gender Binary. I'm sure that Civil Right- OOF." She was cut off as the brawny thugs continued to beat her. She kept her eyes shut tightly.

"As I was sayin 'fore I was RUDELY INTERRUPTED." The Head Stallion smiled gleefully. "There's always room fer one more if you wanna join 'er." He motioned to Snake Eyes.

May merely smirked, "oh, a sexist bastard then? Don't worry, I can help get rid of that." she grinned devilishly, and stopped twirling her dagger. She cocked an eyebrow before chucking the knife at one of the thugs. The dagger had snagged him by the collar of his shirt (he's wearing a shirt right?), pinning him to the wall.

With that, she ducked under the Head Stallion, picking him up and knocking him to the ground. She place a hoof on his chest to prevent him from getting up, and at the same time she retrieved the throwing stars from her cloak. She held them lightly by firmly in her hoof, ready to throw at the slightest movement.

"You all right there?" she asked the mare getting beat up.

The largest of the thugs squealed like a little schoolfilly at the display the mare with the blade made as the other thug knocked his head against a lead pipe and slunk down, held up by the knives. The last one promptly peed his pants and ran off screaming.

Snake listened. From the lack of offensive commentary and the ending of beatings, she assumed that the mystery mare had taken care of the three assailants.

"You alright there?"
She sat up, her eyes still closed tightly to hide her little secret.

"Yeah, Peachy Keen, Baby. Just a bucket of Rainbow juice and Cloud Fluff. But for real. I've had worse." She fumbled around blindly. "Hey, d'ya see any Aviators on the ground? Their... prescription. Can't see a damn thing without 'em." As she probed about, out of her jacket sleeve spewed a dozen playing cards.

"Eh heh heh... whoops. Going to need those." She turned away from her savior in order to peek through her eyelids to pick up the cards and return them to the hidden pocket in her sleeve.

May laughed, bending down to pick up the glasses she had seen.

"These ones?" she asked, holding them out to the fumbling mare. "Prescription huh?" she asked skeptically, noting how the cards spilled out of jacket, and she turned away to pick them up.yeah right

She smirked, raising an eyebrow and tucking her unused throwing stars away, and retrieving her dagger.

"Gimme." Snake Eyes grabbed the shades and quickly put them on, completely hiding her eyes. "Ah. Much better." She finished picking up her cards and stowed them up her sleeve. She inspected the scene for a moment.

"Ha! Dumb bunch of ninnies. Never liked the bouncers at this joint. Just a couple chauvinistic mare-hecklers." She kicked one in disgust. "Got what they friggin deserved." She adjusted her hairband that contained her short mane and wiped her face of the blood from her nose and mouth. She went to a faucet on the side of a building and turned it, producing a stream of semi-clean water. She sucked it up, swished it about, and spat the now blood tainted water out.

"Sure got lucky that time. Didn't even lose a tooth." She nodded, satisfactory as she washed the rest of her face. She snorted a little bit of water to clear her nose of the remaining blood, and turned to the mystery mare with an open smile.

"So, of whom do I owe this pleasure?"

"I'm May Darknight, and you are?" she replied, leaning back up against the building wall. She took her knife out and resumed twirling it about, her face hidden by the cloak's hood.

The mare she had saved was grey, with a black mane and tail. May observed her carefully, hiding her examining, watching the way she moved. She watched for any sign of attack or, attempt at attack.

"Woah, slow down there." Snake Eyes shrugged disarmingly to show a sign of goodwill. "No need for the cautious examination! You just saved my life!" Snake had a knack for reading ponies. You didn't become a high-stakes gambling expert without being able to tell what somepony was thinking just by looking at their mouth.

"I don't bite the hand that feeds me. Donworryaboutit." She slapped the mare on the shoulder in a friendly manner. "The name is Snake Eyes, you may or may not wear it out. Doesn't really matter t' me."

She adjusted her black tie, then the collar of her red shirt, then the lapels of her black suit. She pointed to the blade she was twirling in her hoof. "That's a fine knife."

May stood quickly, instinctively, when 'Snake Eyes' slapped her shoulder. May was very unused to being touched, and reacted quickly and violently. Realizing there wa no danger, she leaned back again, putting her hoof up on the wall.

"Thanks." she replied quickly, "nice shades."

She tossed the blade up in the air, catching it by hilt and repeating. She was very nearly always toting with the dagger.

"Don't like bein touched do ya?" Snake chuckled. "That's okay, I can dig it. And thanks, the damn things almost cost me a fortune." her ears perked up as an audible ruckus coming from inside the gambling hall. Her hoof instantly slithered into another jacket pocket as she started to back up.

"Hot damn! I'm suddenly feeling an intense hunger that can only be quenched by food." She grabbed her new-found friend (despite the fact that she knew she didn't like to be touched) and dragged her out of the alleyway.

"You know any good eatings around here? I can't go to any of my usual spots for a while."

May groaned as she was dragged out of the alley, rolling her eyes. She didn't really consider them friends, sure, she had saved her from certain death, but it was only 'cause she had been in the vicinity.

And with weapons

"I don't know, I don't come here often and usually don't eat here." she said, sighing. She glanced about the street, her hood swishing off. She pulled it back up and checked the hidden pockets, making sure nothing had fallen out.

"Thats fine, we'll just wander about until we find someplace good." She looked the avenue up and down for a moment.

"Judgin by the metal lumps in your cloak you got a whole buckton of sharp pointy things in your 'hidden' pockets." Snake Eyes joined a crowd of drunk factory workers, blending in despite her extravagant attire. The workers didn't pay her any mind, so she motioned for May to join her. "That's fine, that's fine. It pays to have a couple things on hoof should whatever you do goes south. Your a dangerous pony, Ms.Darknight." She grinned as May's hood came off. "Not too bad on the eyes too." She laughed. "Just kidding. I already got a pony that's the apple of my eye. Don't worry about little ol' me."

May was surprised, her hidden pockets were actually hidden very well. Just looking at her you wouldn't be able to tell she had weapons on her.

"Yes, I am dangerous. And I don't care about 'looks.' They don't matter." she said sternly, shuddering at the closeness of the other ponies. At the moment, her cloak was terribly inconvenient and was being stepped on a lot. She smoothly pulled it away out of foot's reach and promptly followed Snake Eyes.

"So, you don't know the area either?" she asked, ignoring the mare's mention of a special somepony. May didn't have one, and didn't care either. She preferred solitude anyways.

"Oh too well. But thats the problem." Snake Eyes pulled away from the group and dragged May with her. "So do the fine gentleponies who are looking for you and me." She sat down for a moment to catch her breath. As her adrenaline wore off, she was starting to feel a little woozy from the beating she received.

"I mean... They... haaah.." She breathed deeply and winced from the throbbing pain in her head. "They know every place a lowlife ssscumbag like myself would go." She hunched over and counted to ten. In through the nose. Out through the mouth. In through the nose...

"Sorry... am I moving a little... haaaah... to fassst for you?"

"Hmm? Oh, no. I can keep up just fine. You alright there? Need anything?" she asked with faux concern, not actually caring about the mare's well being. She glanced around, "So, you're a criminal?" she asked with a laugh.

She searched the crowd for any suspicious ponies, finding quite a few. But she brushed it off, keeping herself ready for any sign of attack or approach. She kept her hoof in her pocket, ready to whip out her dagger.

"Fine... totally fine..." Snake Eyes let in a deep intake of breath before grinning. "Your deep caring for me is touching." She got up and examined the alleyway. "I think I got a place." She started to walk down the alleyway.

"But whether I'm a criminal or not depends on who you are, Little Miss May." She scratched her chin and winced as she found another scrape. "I mean even if I was a criminal, (Which you can't prove by the way) Why would I tell a pony I only met a couple of minutes ago? Besides, only right minded ponies call criminals 'criminals' anymore."

May raised an eyebrow, "so, are you saying being 'right minded' is bad? Because I am right minded, but everything but good." she laughed, following Snake down the alley. "And if you try to jump me in the dark, you'll find my dagger in your chest."

May was a bit suspicious of the prescription glasses wearing mare who got beat up in alleyways. She was clearly some sort of criminal, or gambler or something like that. May wasn't positive, but could tell there was something she was hiding. Though she didn't pry.

"No no no!" Snake Eye's eyebrows furrowed as she shook her head. "I am not saying that 'right mindedness' is bad. It can be very... comforting." She shrugged as a neon sign came into view.

"The Third Circle: For those of particular Gluttony."

"Ah... now this is the place." She sighed happily before sniffing to clear her nose. "But anyway. I'm just saying that ponies can be very set in their ways. Its hard for them to accept certain taboo's or what-have-you. Example: Remember when Nightmare Moon just returned from whatever? I mean I wasn't there, but I heard about it. You know what everypony did the second they saw her? They freaked. Guards charged, Ponies almost tackled the Alicorn."

She stopped for a moment to turn to May. "Its just that alot of ponies make too many assumptions. You get me?"

"Yeh. I get you." May said solemnly, "you got enough money to pay for this?" she asked, laughing lightly.

She stared up at the bright neon light. ugh, it'll be crowded she thought, rolling her eyes. She hated crowded places, the jostling of other ponies up against her and all their voices shouting this way and that. May hated it, oh well.

"Ha! money? HAHAHA!" Snake laughed at the joke uproariously. "Come on. The least I can do is to treat you to dinner." She walked to the door and flashed a smile to the bouncer. The large unicorn moved to the side to allow the two mares to walk in.

The Third Circle was surprisingly quite, like an old dinner, but with a couple strange sigils and insignias on the walls and ceiling. The ponies that did occupy the place chatted quietly. Snake Eyes sat down in a booth and sighed. as she rubbed her temples slowly. "So Little Miss May, what do you do for a living?"

May glanced about the restaurant, counting the ponies inside and noting their details. She watched them discreetly, ready for an assault. She barely heard when Snake Eyes asked her a question. But being the expert she was, she replied swiftly.

"I do jobs for ponies when requested. It's pretty decent money, and you?" she asked, slowly turning her eyes about the diner. She glanced at the menu briefly, already deciding her order.

The idle chatting bothered her, she had expected the place to be busier. And she was a bit suspicious.

"Really? Same here! Except One may venture the guess that I have a much more versatile and unorthodox set of talents than..." Snake glanced at the sheathe of one of May's knives under her cloak.

"...Than the talents required of your clients." She waved down a waiter and ordered a hayburger with fries and a chocolate milkshake. after the waiter left with their orders, she pursed her lips in thought.

"But really, my day job is I... work for the Church." Snake Eyes nodded. "Yup."

It was true enough. She did work for a church, but not one that inspired the best reaction.

A pair of unicorns walked in and sat down at the bar. Snake Eyes watched them from behind her reflective shades.

May ordered a hay sandwich with a cider and raised an eyebrow. "A church? I didn't expect that, what church?" she snorted, "I took you for more of a...gambler." she laughed, leaning back in her chair. She placed a hoof on the table to keep from falling while she rocked the chair on one leg.

May was still suspicious of Snake Eyes, and of the two unicorns who had just arrived.

Snake Eyes regretted revealing her Day Job. Her lisp started to take effect.

"Oh... well... itsss a sssmall church... basssed out of Ponyville. I'm a... I guesssss you could call me a missssionary. Or the closssessst thing to it." She loosened her collar. "You know. Sssspreading the good word and all."

The good word of He-With-The-Mis-Matched-Appendages.

Usually involving Large Scale pranks.

And a lot of cotton candy.

and chocolate milk.

and Checkerboard patterns.