My Little Pony:Friendship is Magic OC RP
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My Little Pony:Friendship is Magic OC RP

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 Klaas The Earth Pony

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acabobie



Posts : 3
Join date : 2013-08-16

PostSubject: Klaas The Earth Pony   Sat Aug 17, 2013 12:03 am

Klaas

Gender: Male
Species: Earth Pony
Mane: Blazing Ruby
Tail: Blazing Ruby
Eyes: Sparkling Azure
Body: Orange
Cutie Mark: Spartan Helmet (Ancient Greek)
Age (Baby,adult): Adult (17)

Personality: Determined and ambitious. Treats others as an opportunity to learn and improve self. Somewhat jealous. He treats honesty as a virtue, although does slip now and then.

Likes: Tales of the Ancients and legends, helping ponies in danger, and exploring the lands of Equestria. Hanging out with wonderful looking mares.

Dislikes: Awkward social gatherings, pegasis, snobby personalities, and waking up early.

History: Born in the countryside 14 miles southeast of Canterlot to a hard working earth pony family. Ever since he was a small pony he heard stories of the glories of Canterlot and the beautiful queen from his grandmother who used to be a high level business executive up north in the big cities. The wonderful stories struck awe and wonder into Klaas’s heart. He dreamed of a day when he would be part of the royal guard. He grew into a teenager, bid his family goodbye. With his mane shimmering in the warm summer’s day, he went on his quest to fulfill his life’s dream... It did not go as expected. The academy was filled with stiff competition and challenges to overcome. In many of the tests the horses with wings bested him because of their amazing agility. He came to develop a loathing, a jealousy for those kinds of ponies, although he does not admit it. He was rejected for 2nd tier testing at the academy. Being the determined pony that he is, he will never surrender. He is now at the age of 17 looking for the secrets of the ancients that will give him strength and prospects of a personal trainer to raise his game to a whole new level. His sparkling azure eyes burn into a hunters orange as he gazes to the moon, burning with deep desire. “There is nothing that will stop me. Bring me the sting of a frozen tundra and the relentless heat of the dessert. No monsters, no dragons... NOTHING.”

Example RP segment: (Refer to post below)
3. It is pouring rain outside. Your OC spots the light of a tavern up ahead. The tavern is filled with ponies that your OC doesn't know. Given your OC’s personality, compose a brief narrative in which your OC identifies and addresses the situation.

Not wanting to get ill Klaas gallops quickly to the tavern, splashing his hooves into a few puddles of mud dirtying his legs. He enters the tavern, tracking in mud along the way. The other ponies are aghast after seeing the once clean floor being sullied with the filth of the outdoors. Klaas realizes his error and immediately apologizes to those discontented with the occurrence. He is approached by a barmaid who offers him a smile, a handkerchief and a giggle.

The barmaid was a young mare with striking auburn tail, sparkling beige eyes, and a strut that even a fashion model cannot match in grace. As Klaas cleans himself, the barmaid says “It is very stormy out there today, didn’t you know that the pegasis ponies planned today to gather the clouds together. All of the other ponies arrived earlier in ant...” Klaas interrupted, “I know, it is just that I was travelling far away from home and kind of didn’t know my way around this side of Equestria.”

*shaking his hooves towards the sky* “But why do the pegasi have to plan these events so randomly, it is like they want to catch some poor lad in the rain. They think they are so special being able to zoom through the sky and all.”

Looking concerned at Klaas’s comments the barmaid says “Don’t feel sour about it, I am sure they did not mean to bring you a bad day, here sit down and have a glass of apple cider on me!” The barmaid and Klaas chat for a long time becoming friends. What started as a dreary rainy day ended up to be not so bad Klaas thought.  

Acceptance


Last edited by acabobie on Sat Aug 17, 2013 6:29 pm; edited 4 times in total
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Blind Side



Posts : 869
Join date : 2012-11-29
Age : 24
Location : Canterlot

PostSubject: Re: Klaas The Earth Pony   Sat Aug 17, 2013 12:55 am

Hello acabobie! Welcome to the forum! ^.^

First off, may I just say OHMYGOSHYAYANOTHEREARTHPONYCANTERLOTGUARDTOBE! :D :D :D

*ahem* anyway. I do like your OC so far.

-Very first thing I noticed was that your personality section is really bare. it'd be great if you could add more onto that.

-Another thing I noticed is that your RP segment could use some paragraphing. a wall of text can be disorienting. Side Note: Actions done *like this* are usually only done in the chatbox. although, I do respect how you've managed to implement that into your style.

You're off to a great start! make the changes, and I'll be happy to approve you! ^.^

If you have any questions, feel free to join us in the chatbox at the bottom of the main page. all of our members are very nice and helpful, so We'll be glad to answer any questions you may have. :)

Have a great day!

_________________


"Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend."
 ~ Albert Camus


Character List:
~:Blind Side:~
~:Erigo:~
~:Lunar Star:~
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acabobie



Posts : 3
Join date : 2013-08-16

PostSubject: Re: Klaas The Earth Pony   Sat Aug 17, 2013 6:28 pm

There you go Blind Side, I made some amendments as suggested. Thank you for the input, and I hope this is all well to be approved to be my first ever OC! I am excited to join you and the other ponies soon! :D
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Blind Side



Posts : 869
Join date : 2012-11-29
Age : 24
Location : Canterlot

PostSubject: Re: Klaas The Earth Pony   Sat Aug 17, 2013 7:18 pm

Personality section is still a little short, but you got the point across well. Good enough ^.^

Approved.

Have Fun!

Also, We should really RP together sometime. My main OC is a guard for Canterlot. :)

_________________


"Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend."
 ~ Albert Camus


Character List:
~:Blind Side:~
~:Erigo:~
~:Lunar Star:~
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View user profile
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PostSubject: Re: Klaas The Earth Pony   Today at 9:16 pm

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