| | Music record (READY with the help of a friend.) |  |
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music piy
Posts : 19
Join date : 2013-06-16
Location : Everywhere
 |  Subject: Music record (READY with the help of a friend.)  Tue Jun 18, 2013 3:44 am | |
| Music Records
Gender: Female
Species: Unicorn (horn is hidden in mane)
Mane: Poofy and a beautiful yellow with purple streaks through it.
Tail: Also poofy and yellow with purple streaks through it.
Eyes: Light blue
Body: Light neon-ish green
Cutie Mark: A music note with a microphone behind it (also no image)
Age: Mare
Personality: Music Records is caring, friendly, and very likeable. She is always there to help any pony in need, friend or not. So if you need help, call Music Records and she will be there in a jiffy!
Likes: Music (obviously), singing, her friends, the kids she teaches and her little sister starfinder.
Dislikes: boys, evil creatures and rain.
History: Music Records can be thought of as a normal pony but she's not. As a filly she was bullied and as a mare the bullying continued by the same ponies. This constant bullying turned her evil.
Due to trouble in their home town, Music Records' parents had to send her little sister (Star Finder) to live with her. Due to the love of her sister, Music Records' heart was again filled with kindness and she turned to a caring and kind pony again. Music Records gained enough trust from some ponies that she could become a teacher and the fillies always loved her classes!
Example RP segment: A foal has lost its mother and is sobbing inconsolably in the street . Given your OC’s personality, compose a brief narrative in which your OC identifies and addresses the situation.
Music Records was trotting around ponyville when she saw a poor foal crying. It didnt seem to have its mother with it. Music Records walked over to the foal. ''Hey, dont be sad! Come with me, I'll help you find your Mum.'' Music Records said with a smile and with that Music Records let the foal climb onto her back as she trotted around ponyville, looking for the poor foal's mum.
[acceptance] |
Last edited by dontpressenter on Tue Jul 02, 2013 4:44 am; edited 5 times in total (Reason for editing : this was unaccepted and I was told to edit it) | |
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mcewanman
Posts : 833
Join date : 2013-02-23
Location : Rivera
| | Subject: Re: Music record (READY with the help of a friend.) Tue Jun 18, 2013 6:15 am | |
| Your OC has been APPROVED.
Welcome to the site! Come see us down in the chatbox if you fancy a chat of have a question (though you seem to have already done that on your own)
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music piy
Posts : 19
Join date : 2013-06-16
Location : Everywhere
| | Subject: Re: Music record (READY with the help of a friend.) Tue Jun 18, 2013 6:36 am | |
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dontpressenter
Admin
Posts : 1594
Join date : 2011-11-21
Location : A little pocket universe after almost destroying the old one.
| | Subject: Re: Music record (READY with the help of a friend.) Tue Jun 18, 2013 7:11 am | |
| Approval revoked until issues have been addressed. | |
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Dark The Pegasus
Posts : 179
Join date : 2013-05-08
Location : Probably sitting at my desk animating. ..what, you thought i would say something funny?
| | Subject: Re: Music record (READY with the help of a friend.) Wed Jun 19, 2013 6:24 am | |
| hm? issues have been addressed? what sort of issues do you mean there? | |
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dontpressenter
Admin
Posts : 1594
Join date : 2011-11-21
Location : A little pocket universe after almost destroying the old one.
| | Subject: Re: Music record (READY with the help of a friend.) Thu Jun 20, 2013 6:59 am | |
| I have sent a pm to member Piy.
As I have received no response, I will copy and paste what I have said below.
I'm going to have to veto the approval of your app, as there are concerns I have with it. Two, to be exact.
First is very minor. The name of 'Piy'. It doesn't really fit the nature of a pony name.
Second is more serious. Your app has the sentence 'Music piy was originally an evil creature who planned on becoming the ruler of ponyville,' which needs to be either completely omitted or explained in depth. What sort of creature was she? Why was she that evil? And your reason for her not being evil anymore doesn't hold any water whatsoever.
Until these issues have been addressed, your approval has been aborted, and you cannot rp. | |
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music piy
Posts : 19
Join date : 2013-06-16
Location : Everywhere
| | Subject: Re: Music record (READY with the help of a friend.) Thu Jun 20, 2013 7:11 am | |
| i am called music piy because if i say ''music pie'' people are going to say im just changing a cannon characters name. i dont want people to think that. | |
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dontpressenter
Admin
Posts : 1594
Join date : 2011-11-21
Location : A little pocket universe after almost destroying the old one.
| | Subject: Re: Music record (READY with the help of a friend.) Thu Jun 20, 2013 7:31 am | |
| So instead of coming up a with a new word that actually describes your character, you changed one letter. Not sure if that actually helps your case there, Ms Music.
As for the second point, I am still not satisfied by the way you have described Music's development from evil megalomaniac to music teacher. You still haven't described a whole lot of things, leaving aside the apparently random flip to good.
For what reason did she wish to become a ruler? Why did she want to become an 'evil one'? What exactly made her evil? Did she know she had a little sister? If not, why? If so, why did she only become good later? When she turned to good, why music of all things? Was music always a part of her? If it was, how did it come about? Does her evil tendencies get the better of her from time to time? If so, in what fashion? How does pie or 'piy' come into any of this?
I know nothing about your character, apart from what you have told me, and it is not much other than a few ideas thrown together. I don't see an actual coherent character. | |
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music piy
Posts : 19
Join date : 2013-06-16
Location : Everywhere
| | Subject: Re: Music record (READY with the help of a friend.) Tue Jul 02, 2013 1:22 am | |
| I have redone my app can you please read it and see if its alright thanks  | |
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music piy
Posts : 19
Join date : 2013-06-16
Location : Everywhere
| | Subject: Re: Music record (READY with the help of a friend.) Tue Jul 02, 2013 4:04 am | |
| hang on still working on it
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music piy
Posts : 19
Join date : 2013-06-16
Location : Everywhere
| | Subject: Re: Music record (READY with the help of a friend.) Tue Jul 02, 2013 4:37 am | |
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dontpressenter
Admin
Posts : 1594
Join date : 2011-11-21
Location : A little pocket universe after almost destroying the old one.
| | Subject: Re: Music record (READY with the help of a friend.) Tue Jul 02, 2013 4:46 am | |
| A bit brief, but it's better. Much better.
Enough to be approved, in fact. | |
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music piy
Posts : 19
Join date : 2013-06-16
Location : Everywhere
| | Subject: Re: Music record (READY with the help of a friend.) Tue Jul 02, 2013 4:57 am | |
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