Yep.

She sat in the group, her one of her special some pony’s her three closest mare friends, she smiled and laughed inside though she was numb, well perhaps numb was not the right word for what she was feeling, no, it was more like a knife stuck in her chest, that on occasion would twist a bit deeper into her, she clutched at her chest with her hoof and excused herself, she washed her face and stared at herself in the mirror, she made grimaces and fake smiles as she tried to control the urge to shake like a frightened foal.

“Useless! “

That was the phrase she latched onto repeating it to herself over and over as if it was some sick way to comfort herself, she sunk down to the floor with a quiet squeak and began to rock herself, her mind going though the list of reasons she was worthless both to herself and any pony who was under the impression that they cared for her.

Too fat, too stupid, ugly, useless! What “talent”? Who would ever need something as useless as what you can do? They would be so much better off if you just dropped off you know, waste of flesh, greedy, ignorant, FILTH, VILE, EVIL, A WASTE!

She closed her dark brown eyes and shuddered letting her mane fall over her eyes, another thing wrong, another thing that needed to be “fixed” constantly messed up always in the way, oh but Celestia forbid she cut the hay loving thing, it made her look even worse then she already did, she heard a knock on the bathroom door followed by a loud statement.

“Come on Mommy you’re missing the best part! The sharks are going all fololooollooo”

“Give me a minuet I think I’m getting sick again”

“Oh alright”

She waited until she heard their hoof beats return to the downstairs part of the house before she grabbed a hoof full of her mane and yanked it out, tears ran down the sides of her face as she shudder with suppressed sobs. Of course the voice came back as vicious as ever.

What are YOU complaining about!? Shut up you useless pony, stop crying, and control your emotions! Look at you sitting there crying your eyes out like a new born and yet so many other ponies have it worse then you, dying now as you sit here wrapped in yourself pity, you are disgusting. Get up put on a Freaking smile and deal with it, die on your own time, die away from them! They don’t deserve this.

The rocking was much more intense now, she gripped the edge of the sink with one hoof to keep from smacking herself into the bathroom wall, lest any pony down stairs hear her mental break. Her mind was slowing now, it was getting better now that she was medicated, she could kill herself off with those magic pills so much easier, 15 minutes then she would just shut off emotionally, perhaps not the way the medication was meant to be used, but that’s how it worked.

The time passed, she talked herself up down from the edge every time, she didn’t have the courage to follow through anyway, the voice, her own voice, the one filled with hatred, her though she hated to admit it, true voice spoke one last time as she stood and ran the water in the sink splashing her face and scrubbing it, partly to make her eyes look less puffy, and partly to relieve the desire to punish herself somehow, hard scrubbing, not slamming your body on the walls again, not in some pony else’s home.

Look, what a mess you are, that’s right, scrub your ugly face and put that smile back up for them like a good filly, fake it till you bleed, and even then keep going, you have nothing to complain about you useless…

“******* are you alright in there?”

“I’m fine sweetheart, go sit out with the others, I am just getting sick after all”

“You keep getting sick after you eat. Maybe we should take you to the doctor?”

“No, that’s fine”

“… Alright, I love you.”

“I love you too.”

She stood now, completely numb for the first time today, vaguely aware that it was probably unhealthy for her to lie to him about her “getting sick” but she felt the need to.. the need to what exactly? Protect him? No he had moved past that point, he knew about this, due to an unfortunate episode early on in the relationship. She sighed, her face now completely messed up to the point it looked like something had attacked her with a wash cloth, she smiled, made her ears stick up and existed the bathroom.