My Little Pony:Friendship is Magic OC RP
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My Little Pony:Friendship is Magic OC RP

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 Fears and Horrors, Hopes and Dreams

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Madness116



Posts : 29
Join date : 2012-06-05
Age : 20
Location : Wandering The World

PostSubject: Fears and Horrors, Hopes and Dreams   Sat Jun 30, 2012 9:16 am

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/33271/Fears-and-Horrors%2C-Hopes-and-Dreams

Give me your feedback! ALL OF IT.
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dontpressenter
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Posts : 1532
Join date : 2011-11-21
Location : A little pocket universe after almost destroying the old one.

PostSubject: Re: Fears and Horrors, Hopes and Dreams   Sat Jun 30, 2012 10:14 am

Eeh. Not really much to talk about. I would really need more to actually say anything about the story.

For spelling and punctuation, there wasn't really anything that was too detracting, but really? This wouldn't be a story I'd pick up. It was not really grabbing me, a major flaw in what I think you were going for. The narrator is more cliche than scary, and the other characters aren't really necessary, are they, beyond the stock standard "You'll never get away with this!"

In summary, too short to evoke any more emotion than a 'meh'.

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Madness116



Posts : 29
Join date : 2012-06-05
Age : 20
Location : Wandering The World

PostSubject: Re: Fears and Horrors, Hopes and Dreams   Sun Jul 01, 2012 7:54 am

Its a bit of a cliche, I'll admit, but I'm not finished yet! Imma gunna getchu a sad story, most of the story is going to show buildup to the point its currently at, and I am nowhere near finished, trust me... I will not leave you alone :3
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PostSubject: Re: Fears and Horrors, Hopes and Dreams   Today at 2:46 am

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