My Little Pony:Friendship is Magic OC RP
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My Little Pony:Friendship is Magic OC RP

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 Moon Lie

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MoonLie



Posts : 1
Join date : 2014-06-23
Age : 15
Location : Argentina

PostSubject: Moon Lie   Thu Jun 26, 2014 7:22 pm

Moon Lie

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Gender: stallion

Species: Pegasus

Mane: Black with a white spot

Tail: black with a white tip

Eyes: red colour

Body: a light blue-indigo colour with 2 earrings.He's kinda short

Cutie Mark: a red moon with a Joker card in front

Age: 16

Personality: he's a joker,he likes playing pranks on other ponies and he acts like he doesn't care about anything,but he's actually a really caring pony,and he would do anything for the persons he loves

Likes: night,rain,jokes,music,horror stories

Dislikes: being alone,being left out,being judged

History: he never really had lots of friends when he was younger,he's grades at school weren't the best but they weren't bad either,but he was weak so the bullies always got him as a target. That until he plan a little revenge. he humiliated the bully in front of all school,that's when he got his cutie mark and the recognition of a lot of ponies,he made a lot of friends etc etc.
one day,his best friend told him about PonyVille and he was curious about that place,so he go and...he like it so he decide to stay there.

Example RP segment: Star Light was reading her book,it was a rainy day and she was bored as hell,she didn't like rain at all...that until someone push her
''aww'' said the pony rubbing her head ''what the-...Moon Lie?'' continue saying in a confused tone.
''who else,cutie?'' replied the other pony in a playful tone.
''get lost'' said the pony in an angry tone,turning her head away
''aww come on Star,are you mad at me?'' MoonLie said poking her ear
''god you're annoying'' was the only thing StarLight replied

((PD: StarLight it's a friend's OC))
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Doodle Bug



Posts : 1401
Join date : 2012-11-06

PostSubject: Re: Moon Lie   Thu Jun 26, 2014 8:35 pm

Hello Moon Lie and welcome to the Forum! I'm your friendly Neighborhood Moderator at your service!
The app looks good except for a few things:

1. There needs to be some capitalizations at the beginning of sentences and punctuations at the end.

2. Your personality is a bit short so can you make it at least a paragraph or two long please? ^.^

3. The history needs to include what kind of impact his parents had on his life growing up, what kind of friends shaped him into who he is today, and who influenced him, when he was younger, to do better!

4. Can you make likes and dislikes up to at least 5-10 to give a more broad spectrum of who he is (This applies for personality too!).

5. The example Rp segment kind of just ends abruptly leaving us hanging. It would be wonderful if that could find an end!

6. You're missing the little word at bottom letting us know you've read the rules ^.^
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