My Little Pony:Friendship is Magic OC RP
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My Little Pony:Friendship is Magic OC RP

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 Spritely Light

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PeachFuzz64



Posts : 1
Join date : 2013-12-21
Age : 25
Location : Federal Way, Washington

PostSubject: Spritely Light   Tue Dec 24, 2013 5:04 am

Spritely Light




Gender: Mare

Species: Earth

Mane: Short in the front long in the back and tied into a pony tail with a small light blue bow next to her left ear deep red and a light red looks almost pink

Tail: Long and flowing deep red and a light red looks almost pink

Eyes: Sea Blue long eye lashes but not to long

Body: Light Sky blue somewhat short for her age likes to don ties around her neck sometimes

Cutie Mark: A steel black lantern

Age: 23

Personality: has trouble fitting in with popular pony's likes to have fun has problem's with spiders ever since night mare night likes to think that no matter how dim or how dark a situation looks there is always hope. when ever it starts to snow she will stay outside for hours on end.    

Likes: Pancakes, Star Filled Nights, Getting Drunk, Snow, Apple Fritters, butterfly's, Beaches.  

Dislikes: Spiders, Blood moons, Foggy days, cloudy Days, Strange Shadows,  Gambling.

History: Spritely has had a somewhat good life she spends her time in Appleloosa attempting to sell her lanterns usually not selling a single one she barely gets by with what ever bits she gets when she was just a filly her dad  we will call him Mr. Lightly gave her a iron pocket watch for her 13th birthday  that she keeps locked in a box in her house when she was young her mother died when spritely was just 16 leaving her heart broken she went to her funeral with a hole in her heart. now a days she sits behind her cart with a smile never forgetting her mother selling lanterns from her cart.



Example RP segment:

One sunny day in Appleloosa a robber who just robbed a bank swiftly trots sending sand and dust into the air. The robber not seen by the guards giving chase blaze after the robber the robber slams into the wooden cart that is spritelys she almost falls over as she jumps back in surprise "Hey watch it bud!" Spritely blares out.

The robber swiftly with out her knowing slips a dagger into her saddle bag before the robber dashes off leaving the tattered remains of her cart all over the sand she growls out. "HEY!!... uuugh... fine I guess I.." Before she can finish what she was saying a royal guard winded trots up to spritely and sees that she has the dagger sticking out of her saddle bag that so far she hasn't noticed. The guard says with a booming voice.

"Halt right there thief and slowly place the dagger on the ground your under arrest" the guard has his spear firmly pointed at spritely she backs away and holds her hoofs up. "Wait a hoof you got the wrong pony I sware whatever it was it wasn't me.." The guard uses his horn as it glows deep white it pulls the dagger out of her saddle bag it floats close to her face.

"Oh.. well I don't recall wakening up today wanting to carry a dagger that's not mine really" The guard shakes his head. " Then why was it in your saddle bag miss... what did you say your name was?" Spritely looked worried as she spoke. "Well my name is spritely light sir... perhaps the robber put it in my saddle bag.." The guard looked onwards to spritely " Well even if this isn't your dagger I still have to take you in for some questioning" Spritely trotted slowly with the guard away from the shambles of her cart vary slowly.

Acceptance


Last edited by PeachFuzz64 on Sun Dec 29, 2013 3:21 am; edited 2 times in total
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Blind Side



Posts : 869
Join date : 2012-11-29
Age : 24
Location : Canterlot

PostSubject: Re: Spritely Light   Thu Dec 26, 2013 6:13 pm

Hello, And welcome to the forum! I apologize for being late with this, but better late than never, right?

Anyways, all I can think to say is that the personality section is a little short and try breaking up the paragraphing in the RP section. a wall of text can be hard to read and overwhelming.

You're also missing something very important that goes at the bottom of your app. i can be found in the rules ^.^

Let me know when the changes have been made and I'll get right back to you. Also, feel free to join the chatbox at the bottom of the main page. Everyone here may be slightly crazy, but we're all very friendly :)

_________________


"Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend."
 ~ Albert Camus


Character List:
~:Blind Side:~
~:Erigo:~
~:Lunar Star:~
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Blind Side



Posts : 869
Join date : 2012-11-29
Age : 24
Location : Canterlot

PostSubject: Re: Spritely Light   Sun Dec 29, 2013 5:46 am

Changes made. Much better.

Approved!

Have Fun! ^.^

_________________


"Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend."
 ~ Albert Camus


Character List:
~:Blind Side:~
~:Erigo:~
~:Lunar Star:~
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PostSubject: Re: Spritely Light   Today at 3:49 am

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