My Little Pony:Friendship is Magic OC RP
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My Little Pony:Friendship is Magic OC RP

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 Isanella clef

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DashieJohnny



Posts : 5
Join date : 2013-11-22

PostSubject: Isanella clef   Fri Nov 22, 2013 2:49 pm

Isanella
Nickname:nella
Gender:female
Species:pegaus
Mane:Her mane is a really pretty shade of blue.
Tail:blue with a hint of red.
Eyes:pink is her eye color
Body:purple is her body color
Cutie Mark:trebleclef
Age (Baby,adult):faul(15)
Personality:She is mean to anyone at first until she gets to know them.She gets mad very easily if anyone calls her Nellie.She is kind to her family but isn't very loving toward them.She is also very intellectual.
Likes:music singing and ponies
Dislikes:meanness getting sick and the rain
History: She was born in Cloudsdale to a crazy musician for a mother and an artist for a father.When she was young she found out her talent was singing which led to her cutie mark being a treble clef.She also ended up running away to ponyville after she saw her crazy mother crying because her father was dead.She has been in ponyville ever since.
Example RP segment:She blushes then she smiles at him.Then she starts crying and says"i just can't go out with you at the present moment.I just gotten over my dad's death. I am still crying after i finish saying that.

acceptance


Last edited by DashieJohnny on Wed Dec 11, 2013 2:24 pm; edited 11 times in total
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Fireseeker



Posts : 1351
Join date : 2012-07-28
Location : United Kingdom

PostSubject: Re: Isanella clef   Fri Nov 22, 2013 8:34 pm

Welcome to the site DashieJohnny

Your character app will need to be much more detailed than this. Feel free to look at accepted characters, such as my OCs listed in my signature, to gain an idea of what is acceptable.

You also need to review our rules, which will also help to guide you:
http://mlp-fim-oc-rp.forumotion.net/t1169-the-rules

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DashieJohnny



Posts : 5
Join date : 2013-11-22

PostSubject: Re: Isanella clef   Wed Dec 04, 2013 1:54 pm

Edited
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Fireseeker



Posts : 1351
Join date : 2012-07-28
Location : United Kingdom

PostSubject: Re: Isanella clef   Wed Dec 04, 2013 2:47 pm

Better, but it still needs work.

You need to check your grammar for spelling and capital letters in words. Also, make sure you use spacing, especially after full stops, and paragraphing. This applies particularly to your roleplaying section, where speech should generally be on separate lines.

As for Isanella's backstory, I would consider it a combination of being too dark for the MLP universe and too random to be associated with the character. Murder and insanity are subjects that are difficult to integrate into a character, so are often best avoided.

Finally, you need to look over the Character Creation Procedures in the Rules, as there is something you need to include from it.

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DashieJohnny



Posts : 5
Join date : 2013-11-22

PostSubject: Re: Isanella clef   Mon Dec 09, 2013 2:29 pm

edited
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Fireseeker



Posts : 1351
Join date : 2012-07-28
Location : United Kingdom

PostSubject: Re: Isanella clef   Mon Dec 09, 2013 4:16 pm

Terribly sorry for not mentioning this before but you will need to either include an image of Isanella Clef, or include more detailed descriptions of her mane, tail, eyes and body.

Also, the roleplay section hasn't been changed to accompany the altered personality section.

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DashieJohnny



Posts : 5
Join date : 2013-11-22

PostSubject: Re: Isanella clef   Wed Dec 11, 2013 2:28 pm

edited
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Fireseeker



Posts : 1351
Join date : 2012-07-28
Location : United Kingdom

PostSubject: Re: Isanella clef   Wed Dec 11, 2013 2:59 pm

Still minimal, but acceptable.

Your character has been approved.

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PostSubject: Re: Isanella clef   Today at 1:34 pm

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