A Concern of Mine

Dear Admins,

Due to past events and conversations with former and current members, I have a few opinions to voice, but I have one concern about what I say. I worry that I'll be banned or worse if I voice an opinion with which you do not agree.

This is a worry that I know I shouldn't have. This site is all about the members, right? Without the members, this site wouldn't exist. There are over a thousand of us. Shouldn't our opinions be safe to say?

And then I think, it's no big deal if one member is quietly banned and shelved because he or she doesn't agree with the decisions of the Administrators. It makes for a happier environment, problems disappear, and everyone's happy. Right?

This terrifies me more than anything. We do our fair share of member shuffling, adding new members and saying goodbye to others. What does it matter if I just disappear? Sure, I'll complain and scream and cry, but no one will hear me. Just friends who will get scolded for believing the "enemy."

I'll probably be scolded myself for bringing this up, because it obviously ties into the banning of Weedo the Great, but if I voice an opinion on the staff and this issue? What then?

I'm scared to death thinking that even just this post is going to kill me here. So, I'm so sorry to all of my friends if I can't come back, but I'll always love you guys, staff or no. Is this suicide? Should I have just kept my muzzle closed? I guess I'll find out.

With all of my love,
~Calla Lils

Calla, you shouldn't be afraid to voice your opinion. the banning of weedo was not because he was voicing an opinion. it was because he consistently accused 1nc and the other admins of targeting him without any solid evidence which caused so much trouble, the chatbox had to be shutdown for a few hours.

Honestly, I'm hurt that someone would think I'd simply ban someone because I don't agree with them and forget about it. Also, this topic has been consistently reappearing as soon as feeling are just being repaired from the last blowout relating to this. No progress is ever made because it seems no one is ever willing to just freaking talk about it.

it's always accusations and jumping to conclusions. And, quite frankly, I'm getting incredibly sick of it. people need to let this issue die.

I'm sorry if I sound blunt, but this is not an "issue", she's a person. A living, breathing human being just like you and me. She is very close to most of us, and we're sorry if we won't just 'let her die'. I know y'all are sick of hearing it, but just like problems in the real world, they won't just go away if we ignore them long enough. We need to fix them.

Oh, I know why she was banned. It was fear of what would happen to me if I brought the topic back up again. I completely agree with banning her the first time; I just don't agree to keeping her out. She can't redeem herself, and I've been keeping my mouth shut for a few months now because I, cowardly as I am, didn't want to get into this mess. 

I bring this up because I want to look into the future. What if something like this were to happen again, to another member? I feel like we, the general member body, do not have a loud enough voice to influence any decisions. Suggestions for ideas to bridge the admins to the members have either failed or been shunted off to the side and forgotten. There is blame on both sides of every disagreement; however, it seems that only one side of the conflict gets punished. What happens if an admin does something bad, but then a member or two is punished? We have no say. That is what concerns me about this whole mess.

My hands are shaking as I write these.

Rosey, You know that's not what I was saying, and it hurts that you would think I would be so cruel. Last time I talked with Weedo, I put it bluntly. ask to come back without accusing us of anything and he will be unbanned. Kore said the exact same thing. He's yet to stop accusing us, so he's yet to be unbanned.

Don't be scared Calla. Unless you go about trying to fight and break the rules, we are not going to ban you.

I somewhat agree with your concern. There is a bit of a disjoint between the members and the admins/mods. We can try to look into this and see what we can do to fix it ^^

Don't be scared to share your opinion with us Calla. If it helps the forum, we are more than happy to try and fix it. It is only when you take a zealous approach to your opinion, starting fights and trying to disrupt the forum is when bad things start happening to all of us.

Guys, I believe I have the thing that will settle all of our issues here: (Sarah is Weedo the Great, for those who don't know)

[4:55:31 PM] Princess Sarah: Hi, Sarah here.

The forum is my baby...I have been working on it even after I left and I want to come back to it. I won't start anything, I never ever want to cause trouble. Can't we all just leave it alone and get back to what made the place so great?. It would be nice to have a small party in the CB and smile like we used to. This has been going on for too long and there is no point in staying mad at each other. I'm tired of always hearing it and I just want things to be back to normal. I just want to never talk about it again and it's hard to do when I'm restricted. Nobody wants a fight so let's just stop it here. Party in the CB?. Let's hope it's a yes ^v^

I must say, that is what I've been asking for for the past month and a half. I am pleased with that, but i'll speak with the other admins and see what they think and keep you all posted.

I actually am disturbed that other members would think that voicing an opinion could get them banned. I have been trying my hardest in those horrible events to give a fair and balanced hearing to all. Weedo was banned for being very unfair to us at our expense and ruined the experience for many others. Even now the effects are still felt as Calla is afraid to even talk about it.

If anyone knows me, they would know I hate to hold grudges. I want to move on. I want to forgive. Afterall, why should I not ever associate with another human being so much?

The answer is that, even in my several private talks to her and several attempts for her to come back, the issue came back the same.

'I want an apology.'
'What did I do wrong?'
'Its not my fault'

Every attempt isn't an attempt to bring peace to the issue, to come to a conclusion and then move on to put it behind us for better times ahead. Each time its about re-establishing blame. Blame onto us, the staff, anyone but Weedo. This is directly going back to where things left off and goes in circles as we have told her several times as well has wrote a timeline of the events that happen and what the staff did in response. Still it comes back to this. Each time I am convinced more and more that nothing was really learned. That Weedo ultimately sees the staff as in the complete wrong. There is nothing wrong with that as everyone can have a free opinion, but seeing as how last time things grew to destructive levels, I worry about the welfare of the forum. Even now, I am burnt out on inspiration to post.

The ban on Weedo still being upheld isnt about making her 'sentence' from when it started more 'punishing' but rather repeated attempts of her in resurfacing the issue in hopes to take away all the dirt on herself and dirty the rest of us in the process, as well as show that nothing was learned.

I appreciate Weedo submitting her feelings on the matter, but its not an apology. I still feel uneasy so soon after her last meeting she held.

I can understand the timing wasn't the best. Sarah really wanted to come back, and I was helping her compose that message. Well, she wrote the whole thing, and I told her it was better to be peaceful than accusing in it.

Right now, it seems, the thing keeping Sarah out is history and paranoia. She promised she'd come back peacefully. She will not intentionally damage the forum. She just wants to be back in her old home.

Also, give me some bucking credit! It took me half a year to get her to write that. Nearly killed me

I don't have anything against her wanting to come back. In my last post I already expressed my concerns thoroughly. Also, sorry if you have taken offense Asha. I have to take it for what it is. I have been as good as I can to my limits on and off the forum in trying to resolve this, but I have lost so much personal energy and enough of my life that I can't do it anymore without bringing myself down. I can't force or bend my forgiveness any further without devaluing what everyone else has said and gone through. It would be a disservice.

Don't get me wrong. Im not saying no to this. But I'm not saying yes either. I think we all are still wound up again from that meeting and everyone is in a very indifferent mood right now since it went south.