My Little Pony:Friendship is Magic OC RP
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My Little Pony:Friendship is Magic OC RP

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 Loco Paper

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LocoPape
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PostSubject: Loco Paper   Sun Oct 20, 2013 2:33 am



Gender:Male

Species: Pegasus

Mane: White and Black, unkempt

Tail: Red and Blue, fairly messy and same color as wings

Eyes: Green yellow, but glazed over (due to him being blind)

Body: Somewhat small, but relatively muscular for his size

Cutie Mark: A scroll with 2 quills crossed behind it

Age (Baby,adult): 33

Personality: A reliable friend, and a very funny guy. He lives up to his name and can act crazy at times, but is always fun to be around. He knows when to be serious and always tries to cheer up everypony around him.

Likes: Writing, travelling, drinking (unless frowned upon in the group), most animals, making ponies smile, flying, and racing.

Dislikes: Spiders, sitting still, unnecessary violence, crackers (graham, saltine, et c.), and confinement.

History: Loco was born and raised in Cloudsdale until the age of 10, when he was moved to Canterlot to train for the Royal Guard, due to his high scores in fighting ability. He was in training for 5 years before graduating at the top of his class and being immediately enlisted in Luna’s personal guard.

He spent all of his free time training both his fighting, and his flying skills. He was the fastest Pegasus he knew and could outfly any of his pony friends in a wing or hoof race, and was agile enough to best anypony he met in obstacle courses as well.

Loco Paper was born without sight in his right eye, and lost his ability to see from his left eye in a fight with a pony attempting to take Luna’s life when it got damaged beyond repair. However, this loss of vision did not slow him down in his duties. He adapted quickly and soon had nearly doubled his senses of both touch and hearing.

Five years after joining the guard, with no cutie mark in sight, he quit the guard and became a traveler. Wandering throughout all of Equestria and the world, searching for what his special talent might be.

Eight years later, after becoming well accustomed to constantly moving, as well as having a great working knowledge of the land, he settled down in the small town of Ponyville, just outside of Canterlot.

He began writing his autobiography, even though he was only 28 years old. However, soon he realized that he had an amazing talent for writing. Before getting far with his autobiography, he wrote a couple trial stories. Short ones, just to test his abilities. He sent them in to publishers who went crazy over them and asked for more, longer works.

Loco tried to write longer novels, but he could never seem to get that far in them before quitting. He stuck to writing short stories and soon realized that this was his special talent. Though he couldn't see it, he and all the ponies who knew him were very happy and excited for him.

It's been 5 years now, and he has made something of a name for himself, but is still only known by a few ponies locally.

Example RP segment: It is pouring rain outside. Loco Paper spots the light of a tavern up ahead. The tavern is filled with ponies that Loco doesn't know. He takes an open seat and has a drink, beginning to talk to the pony next to him.

"Hey, there, stranger. I'm Loco Paper. Pleasure to meet you."

"I'm Dazzle Muffin. It's nice to meet you too."

"Do you mind telling me what race you are? I can't exactly see."

"Oh, a blind pegasus, huh? That must be interesting. Well, I'm an earth pony."

"I like earth ponies." he takes a drink from his bottle. "And you have a lovely voice, too."

"Are you flirting with me?" she asked.

"Well, I'm certainly not flirting with your stool." he jokes.

After some time of talking and drinking, Loco is on his back, flapping his legs as though they were his wings. "I'm flying!"
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LocoPape
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PostSubject: Re: Loco Paper   Sun Oct 20, 2013 2:41 am

Forgot to add "Acceptance" to the end of it. Sorry. :(
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Doodle Bug



Posts : 1399
Join date : 2012-11-06

PostSubject: Re: Loco Paper   Sun Oct 20, 2013 3:56 am

This is good, but please make an account so we can go through this.
And Welcome to the site :D
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LocoPaper



Posts : 15
Join date : 2013-10-20
Age : 21
Location : That one place

PostSubject: Re: Loco Paper   Sun Oct 20, 2013 5:23 pm

Hey, this was my account. I had thought I was using it when I typed up the bio, but apparently it hadn't actually logged me in.
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Doodle Bug



Posts : 1399
Join date : 2012-11-06

PostSubject: Re: Loco Paper   Sun Oct 20, 2013 8:39 pm

Your Personality also needs to be at least a paragraph long

"Canterlot to train for the Royal Guard,"
That second comma should be removed right after guard.

"He was the fastest Pegasus he knew and could outfly any of his pony friends in a wing or hoof race, and was agile enough to best anypony he met in obstacle courses as well."

This needs to be changed since it is waay too OP.

"Loco was born and raised in Cloudsdale until the age of 10, when he was moved to Canterlot to train for the Royal Guard, due to his high scores in fighting ability. He was in training for 5 years before graduating at the top of his class and being immediately enlisted in Luna’s personal guard."

No one but bat ponies can be Luna's guards and also, This is also a little OP plus it says you can't be in direct contact with cannon chars and being a personal guard is breaking that rule.

"Loco Paper was born without sight in his right eye, and lost his ability to see from his left eye in a fight with a pony attempting to take Luna’s life when it got damaged beyond repair. However, this loss of vision did not slow him down in his duties. He adapted quickly and soon had nearly doubled his senses of both touch and hearing."

Can't be fighting for the princesses due to the rule I mentioned above. You can join the guard but you can't have or mention the canon chars.

"He began writing his autobiography, even though he was only 28 years old. However, soon he realized that he had an amazing talent for writing. Before getting far with his autobiography, he wrote a couple trial stories. Short ones, just to test his abilities. He sent them in to publishers who went crazy over them and asked for more, longer works."

You can say he was blinded but you'll have to say something else happened and also, how can he be a writer if he's blind?

"even though he was only 28 years old."

I believe you'd have your cutie mark by the time you reached your teen years.

Plus your rp segment needs more in it like "He said tilting his head slightly to the left while taking a swig of his cider."
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LocoPaper



Posts : 15
Join date : 2013-10-20
Age : 21
Location : That one place

PostSubject: Re: Loco Paper   Sun Oct 20, 2013 8:53 pm

I'll work on the aforementioned issues, but I will mention that I know cutie marks normally come in during preteen - teen years, I just wanted him to get his later in life. Though he had talent in writing, he never tried to do anything or realized that it was his special talent until he had settled down and actually tried it out. The "even though he was only 28 years old" part was more focused on his writing of an autobiography despite his relatively young age.

But I will work on adapting it. I've used this character in other groups, so most of this was copied and pasted from his original bio and I wasn't entirely sure how the "no contact with canon characters" was meant to be, whether ever in life, or during RPs.

And if you could tell me exactly what parts of my talking about his speed are OP, that would be helpful. When I wrote it, I meant it not as "he's the fastest pony ever" but out of the ponies he knew well, he was faster than them, and typically more agile. It may have just been misinterpretation/miscommunication.
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Doodle Bug



Posts : 1399
Join date : 2012-11-06

PostSubject: Re: Loco Paper   Sun Oct 20, 2013 9:13 pm

Well, could you please change that in the form stating that he may not be the fastest one out there, but he's faster than many. And the fact that he's passed his flying school at the top of his class may be a little op because the only one to do that in the series was RD.

It would be greatly appreciated :D
Quote :
I wasn't entirely sure how the "no contact with canon characters" was meant to be, whether ever in life, or during RPs.

It means both in life and during rps
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LocoPaper



Posts : 15
Join date : 2013-10-20
Age : 21
Location : That one place

PostSubject: Re: Loco Paper   Sun Oct 20, 2013 9:22 pm

Alright, thanks. I'll take out that part and I'll be finished with the rest shortly.

And thank you for clarifying that. The next version should be good for acceptance, so I can't wait to get started RPing with you guys.

And side question, I believe the rules said "no excessive swearing" and I wanted to make sure I knew what counts as excessive. I won't be dropping the F bomb every other sentence, but Loco will sometimes use a synonym for "darn" if that's alright. Just want to be clear before I accidentally get in trouble for it.
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Blind Side



Posts : 869
Join date : 2012-11-29
Age : 24
Location : Canterlot

PostSubject: Re: Loco Paper   Sun Oct 20, 2013 9:31 pm

I just want to add that if you have any questions, feel free to join the chatbox at the bottom of the main page. There are lots of wonderful people that hang out there, and all of which will usually answer questions to the best of their ability.

Also, feel free to PM a mod or an admin if you have further questions. my inbox is always open to everypony, and I'll always do my best to reply in a timely manner.

That's all I wanted to say. Welcome to the forum Locopaper! ^.^

Edit: What we mean by excessive swearing is to do your best to keep it PG-13. The rare swear is tolerable, but just don't be swearing like a sailor, ok? ^.^

_________________


"Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend."
 ~ Albert Camus


Character List:
~:Blind Side:~
~:Erigo:~
~:Lunar Star:~
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LocoPaper



Posts : 15
Join date : 2013-10-20
Age : 21
Location : That one place

PostSubject: Re: Loco Paper   Sun Oct 20, 2013 9:35 pm

Sounds good. I don't plan on swearing up a storm, but after drinking, his tongue might loosen a little. XP
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LocoPaper



Posts : 15
Join date : 2013-10-20
Age : 21
Location : That one place

PostSubject: Re: Loco Paper   Sun Oct 20, 2013 9:38 pm

Gender:Male

Species: Pegasus

Mane: White and Black, unkempt

Tail: Red and Blue, fairly messy and same color as wings

Eyes: Green yellow, but glazed over (due to him being blind)

Body: Somewhat small, but relatively muscular for his size

Cutie Mark: A scroll with 2 quills crossed behind it

Age (Baby,adult): 33

Personality: A reliable friend, and a very funny guy. He lives up to his name and can act crazy at times, but is always fun to be around. He knows when to be serious and always tries to cheer up everypony around him. He will fight when he has to, but will typically avoid fights. However, if he gets too drunk he will either become very random, or just pass out. The the first one being much more likely to happen. He is also a pony who will always keep his word if he can, and pays off his debts whenever possible. He is generally quick to make friends, and is loyal until the end, regardless of how close of friends he may be with somepony.

Likes: Writing, travelling, drinking, most animals, making ponies smile, flying, and racing.

Dislikes: Spiders, sitting still, unnecessary violence, crackers (graham, saltine, et c.), and confinement.

History: Loco was born and raised in Cloudsdale until the age of 10, when he was moved to Canterlot to train for the Royal Guard due to his high scores in fighting ability. He was in training for 5 years before graduating near the top of his class, 7th place, and being almost immediately enlisted in the Canterlot guard.

He spent all of his free time training both his fighting, and his flying skills. He was the fastest Pegasus he knew and could out-fly any of his pony friends in a wing or hoof race, and was agile enough to frequently best most ponies he met in obstacle courses as well. Though he was the fastest out of his friends, he was far from being the fastest pony out there, having lost several races with many more experienced fliers than him.

Loco Paper was born without sight in his right eye, and lost his ability to see from his left eye in a fight with a pony attempting to break into the castle when it got damaged beyond repair. However, this loss of vision did not slow him down in his duties. He adapted quickly and soon had nearly doubled his senses of both touch and hearing.

Five years after joining the guard, with no cutie mark in sight, he quit the guard and became a traveler. Wandering throughout all of Equestria and the world, searching for what his special talent might be.

Eight years later, after becoming well accustomed to constantly moving, as well as having a great working knowledge of the land, he settled down in the small town of Ponyville, just outside of Canterlot.

He began writing his autobiography, even though he was only 28 years old. However, soon he realized that he had an amazing talent for writing. Before getting far with his autobiography, he wrote a couple trial stories. Short ones, just to test his abilities. He sent them in to publishers who went crazy over them and asked for more, longer works.

His blindness did not impede too much on his writing abilities. During his travels he had met another blind pony who taught him braille, and in learning this, Loco himself started writing in braille.

Loco tried to write longer novels, but he could never seem to get that far in them before quitting. He stuck to writing short stories and soon realized that this was his special talent. Though he couldn't see it, he and all the ponies who knew him were very happy and excited for him.

It's been 5 years now, and he has made something of a name for himself, but is still only known by a few ponies locally.

Example RP segment: It is pouring rain outside. Loco Paper spots the light of a tavern up ahead. The tavern is filled with ponies that Loco doesn't know. He takes an open seat and has a drink, beginning to talk to the pony next to him.

"Hey, there, stranger. I'm Loco Paper. Pleasure to meet you." the Pegasus says, leaning against the counter.

"I'm Dazzle Muffin. It's nice to meet you too." she replies, holding out her hoof, slightly confused when he didn't take it.

"Do you mind telling me what race you are? I can't exactly see." looking past her with his glazed over eyes.

"Oh, a blind pegasus, huh?" she asks, putting her hoof back down to her side. "That must be interesting. Well, I'm an earth pony."

"I like earth ponies." he takes a drink of his cider, tilting his head back as he finishes off the mug. "And you have a lovely voice, too."

"Are you flirting with me?" she asked, somewhat flirtatiously.

"Well, I'm certainly not flirting with your stool." he jokes.

After some time of talking and drinking, Loco is on his back, flapping his legs as though they were his wings. "I'm flying!" he yells, in drunken excitement while the other patrons laugh alongside him at his performance.

And, though I probably don't need it, "acceptance".
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Doodle Bug



Posts : 1399
Join date : 2012-11-06

PostSubject: Re: Loco Paper   Sun Oct 20, 2013 9:51 pm

Much better! Your OC has been APPROVED
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