Posts : 1
Join date : 2013-09-07
Age : 19
Location : Crystal Empire
|Subject: Crisis Bloodletter Sun Sep 08, 2013 3:02 pm|| |
Mane:Black and white
Tail:Black and white
Body:Black and white
Cutie Mark:A black heart with a maroon line through it
Age (Baby,adult): Adult
Likes:trickery, music and darkness,Sleeping
Dislikes:love, happiness, being touched, Being Defeated in Battle
History:After being frozen in the dungeons of canterlot for 100 years Crisis Bloodletter was freed and sought out a new life becoming the apprentice of the ruler of the crystal empire, darkness ate at his heart, until it was hollow but still a glimmer of kindness remained, King Sombra, his master taught him the ways of evil and when Sombra was defeated crisis went into hiding, after training for decades, he swore to finish his masters work of reclaiming the crystal empire,and swallowing it in shadow. each time he has failed but he wont stop until he gets his hooves on it.
Example RP segment: (Refer to post below) A secret admirer confesses his/her love to your OC. Given your OC’s personality, compose a brief narrative in which your OC identifies and addresses the situation.
Young Crisis was following a note that was left in his mailbox. "I'm only gonna see what it is. No fooling around, except maybe a trick or two.
" he had told himself. This mysterious note that a random pony had left there was very clever, but Crisis had easily figured it out. He went to the alleyway that the note had said, and he saw a shadowy figure. "Listen. What do you want?" "I have a crush-" "No. I'm not getting to up close and personal. Sorry, but you should find somepony else before you hurt yourself."
And with that, he walked away.
Posts : 1466
Join date : 2012-07-28
Location : United Kingdom
|Subject: Re: Crisis Bloodletter Sun Sep 08, 2013 5:35 pm|| |
There are several key parts of this app that make it not approvable, which will need to be changed/removed. Most of these issues are with the character's history. You will want to refer to the rules for some of these problems, which can be found here;http://mlp-fim-oc-rp.forumotion.net/t1169-the-rules
- According to your app, your OC will have to be over 1100 years old (frozen for 100 years, taught by Sombra until his defeat, then living 1000 years more until reaching modern day Equestria) This is not acceptable for any OC.
- Being an apprentice to King Sombra breaks rule 5 ("avoid incorporating characters from the show into OC histories")
- From the OC's description in his history, he appears antagonistic with reason, breaking rule 6 ("recognize that even evildoers have justifications for their actions")
- Your OC's personality is too short. One word will not suffice.
If you would like guidance, re-read the rules, ask staff members for help and look at accepted OC's.