My Little Pony:Friendship is Magic OC RP
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My Little Pony:Friendship is Magic OC RP

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 Brokenstar

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Atreyu



Posts : 3
Join date : 2013-08-24
Age : 19
Location : in my mind

PostSubject: Brokenstar   Sat Aug 24, 2013 6:43 pm

Brokenstar

Gender: Male
Species: Unicorn
Mane: Short, black, with spikes on the front and back with blue tips
Tail: average lentgh, ruffled, black outer and blue inner
Eyes: Dark green, with a slit pupil
Body: average size, black fur with blue stripes on the lower back and upper legs,
Cutie Mark: A black circle in the style of a halo, representing how that he was once a hero among his peers, perhaps even an angel, but soon fell to evil, a fallen angel.
Age (Baby,adult): Teen ( about the age of the main six)
Personality: Arrogant, Prideful, Unfriendly
Likes: Tricking people, Lying, Making people cry, Putting people in even worse situations then they already are, Making young ones miserable.
Dislikes: other people getting there way, Happy endings, Being reminded about how he was once a good person
History: Brokenstar is quite...demented to say the least. He started out just your average unicorn as many. He loved to use magic, and helped other people all the time. While he was a young foal he constantly stood up to bullies and did his best to defend the weak.
He had a crush on a young filly named Sweetshine. He noticed the typical bullies making fun of her and he rushed in to help her, Sweetshine thanked him with a hug, and told him she wanted to hang out later. She told him to meet her by the bridge away from everypony, and as gullible as Brokenstar was he complied, and came only to find out that it was all a rouse, and soon Sweetshine and the young foals bullying her this very morning began to gang up on Brokenstar, and in the midst, they broke his horn. They left him in the rain, and it was hours before even Brokenstar could even begin to walk from the pain, and as soon as he returned home, his parents were horrified.
They thought of him as ugly, his horn broken that he was no longer perfect, and they could not stand to have an imperfection in their family. They threw him out immediately, and refused to let him back inside. The next day brokenstar didn't come to school. Everyone made jokes until it was obvious, Sweetshine had not arrived either. This made everyone worry, but nobody thought of anything. The next day and the days after foals kept getting sick, and not coming to school until one day...all that was left was the teacher, and two returning students. Sweetshine, and Brokenstar. At recess, the teacher had to leave for a
short moment. Sweetshine made a retort about Brokenstar's new look and chuckled as she trotted away. Not long after the foals who had bullied Brokenstar came along soon. Brokenstar merely chuckled as they came up to him and asked. "Where's Sweetshine?"  and he complied by pointing where she went. The bullies left looking for her, the leader not noticing, but soon pony by pony dropped in their group. Until soon, he was alone. He spun around to find Brokenstar behind him. The young bully asked him where the others were. Brokenstar pointed worriedly in the left direction. The bully soon left, and as he left Brokenstar smiled, for the dimwit did not know, that Brokenstar...sent him directly to the Everfree Forest.
Example RP segment: (Refer to post below) Brokenstar seemed rather bored as he walked calmly across the streets. His day had been going will, until an annoying high pitched crying began to fill his ears. It disgusted him. He looked to his side to see a young one in the streets, crying like the freak of nature it was. Brokenstar saw this as an opportunity to have some fun, and slowly walked to the child. He put on his best sympathetic face and asked. "What's wrong little one? Can i assist you?". The foal looked up sadly tears in his eyes as he stuttered in his tears. "My...my mommy...I...I can't find her anywhere...". Brokenstar's sick mind quickly turned gears, and a smile began to form on his face. " Oh don't worry I know where your mommy is." The foal looked up with hope in his eyes and squeaked. "You do?" Brokenstar replied slyly and said. " Yes, she's in the abandoned house down the road, she's down in the dark basement lost, you must go save her." The young foal slowly got up, a look of determination spread across his face. " Okay, thanks mister!" and with that the young foal trotted off. Brokenstar began to walk in the opposite direction, and soon bumped into a frantic mare, tears almost forming in her eyes. The mare looked at Brokenstar and hastily asked him. "Excuse me...have you seen my baby? I Can't find him anywhere!" Brokenstar, cleared his throat, and said calmly. " He's wandered off into the Everfree forest i believe. Quick go catch him before he's hurt!" The mother soon ran off, horrified what might have happened to her child. As soon as she was gone, Brokenstar let out a chuckle. " Hehe...they'll be separated for days." And with that he walked along, with that terrible smile on his face.

[Place the correct specified word indicating that you have read the rules here] Acceptance


Last edited by Atreyu on Sun Aug 25, 2013 1:56 am; edited 1 time in total
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Atreyu



Posts : 3
Join date : 2013-08-24
Age : 19
Location : in my mind

PostSubject: Re: Brokenstar   Sat Aug 24, 2013 6:58 pm

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Wild Card



Posts : 1335
Join date : 2012-07-30
Age : 18
Location : Isn't this exactly where you'd like me?

PostSubject: Re: Brokenstar   Sat Aug 24, 2013 8:28 pm

The app looks pretty good so far. Just a few details to change here and there.

Expand on the personality a bit. It should be more than just a few words. There could also be a few more likes and dislikes. Some more paragraphing would be very nice too. And it would be nice to know what exactly his Cutie Mark represents
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Atreyu



Posts : 3
Join date : 2013-08-24
Age : 19
Location : in my mind

PostSubject: Re: Brokenstar   Sun Aug 25, 2013 1:57 am

i edited it
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Wild Card



Posts : 1335
Join date : 2012-07-30
Age : 18
Location : Isn't this exactly where you'd like me?

PostSubject: Re: Brokenstar   Sun Aug 25, 2013 2:10 am

Changes made. This character has my stamp of APPROVAL!
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PostSubject: Re: Brokenstar   Today at 6:57 pm

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