My Little Pony:Friendship is Magic OC RP
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My Little Pony:Friendship is Magic OC RP

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 Swift Reaper

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ERROR57noname



Posts : 39
Join date : 2013-08-16
Age : 17

PostSubject: Swift Reaper   Fri Aug 16, 2013 10:35 pm

Swift Reaper

Gender: Male
Species: Unicorn
Mane: None
Tail: None
Eyes: Slightly red
Body: Scratched-up and tough-looking, as though he's been through a lot
Cutie Mark: A scythe
Age (Baby,adult): Adult
Personality: Seemingly happy and cheerful, Swift is a cold, depressed pony with many worries. He is somewhat paranoid and jumps at loud noises. He takes depression medication every morning, but he still feels awful every day. He does not want to be unkind to others and ruin their days, so he is happy at all times. Well, that part is only true when he's talking to the dead, but he is merely a normal pony who sometimes talks to himself to any passerby.
Likes: Speaking to the dead, silver, solitude
Dislikes: Crowds, loud noises, bullies, liars
History: Swift Reaper lived a happy life as a child. His father, Entombed Forever, was a grave digger (of the legal kind), and his mother, Tearful Sadness, was a funeral organizer. Both worked at the Manehattan graveyard, living in a small house nearby. Swift was an adopted child, and the only love his parents really had. He went to school for one day, before getting his leg broken by bullies. His mother quickly pulled him out of school after he came out of the hospital a few days later. He learned to write on his own, but not much else. One day, Swift came home from a shopping trip to find guardsmen at his home! As it turned out, his parents were both framed for grave robbing, and were sentenced to five months in prison. They were found dead in their cells soon after arriving, makeshift knives deep in their throats. Swift mourned a rather melancholy way, never crying, but still being very depressed. At their funeral, he saw something he could not believe. There were his parents chatting happily in some kind of transparent form. He called to them, and, to his joy, they noticed and came galloping over to see their son. It was then that he got his cutie mark, a scythe. Since then, he has been talking to spirits all the time.

Sample RP:

"Hey, what's wrong, little guy?"

"*SOB* My parents left me here! They said 'Be back in a few minutes!" but it's been HOURS! *sob*"

Checking with the spirits in the area, namely Jora, a murdered town guard, Swift Reaper concluded that the parents of the young pony were down Mane St, getting coffee. They were headed back that very moment. "Don't worry, your parents will be here soon! Just stay put!" Swift Reaper said as he continued down the road in search of a blacksmith shop.

Acceptance


Last edited by ERROR57noname on Sun Aug 18, 2013 10:46 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Blind Side



Posts : 869
Join date : 2012-11-29
Age : 24
Location : Canterlot

PostSubject: Re: Swift Reaper   Sat Aug 17, 2013 1:15 am

Hello uh... however you say your username! lol Welcome to the forum!

The Very first thing I noticed is that you're missing a lot of things. You're missing the dislikes section and the history section. Also, the RP section is meant to be a sample RP. basically, you take the situation and type up a quick RP segment basically showing off how your OC would react. it helps us know your RP style.

Also, what do you mean by "when he's talking to the dead"? You didn't really explain that.

You're also missing a very important thing that goes at the bottom of your app. you should probably reread the rules to find out what it is :)

Make the changes and I'll happily take a second look. If you have any questions, feel free to join us in the chatbox at the bottom of the main page. All of our members are very nice and helpful, so any of us will be happy to answer any questions you have :)

Have a great day! ^.^

_________________


"Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend."
 ~ Albert Camus


Character List:
~:Blind Side:~
~:Erigo:~
~:Lunar Star:~
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ERROR57noname



Posts : 39
Join date : 2013-08-16
Age : 17

PostSubject: Re: Swift Reaper   Sun Aug 18, 2013 10:46 pm

I have edited my post
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Posts : 869
Join date : 2012-11-29
Age : 24
Location : Canterlot

PostSubject: Re: Swift Reaper   Mon Aug 19, 2013 8:39 am

Changes have been made. Much better.

Only thing left that I want to touch on is the talking to the dead thing. You did a very good job of balancing out the power of your character, but I would still keep an eye on how often you use that.

With that said, I do think it's good enough.

Approved.

Have Fun!

And like I said before, if you have any questions, feel free to join us in the chatbox at the bottom of the main page. the chatbox is pretty much the social backbone of the forum and many RPs are set up through there. it'd be great to see you there ^.^

_________________


"Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend."
 ~ Albert Camus


Character List:
~:Blind Side:~
~:Erigo:~
~:Lunar Star:~
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PostSubject: Re: Swift Reaper   Today at 5:18 pm

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