Posts : 25
Join date : 2012-01-22
Age : 29
Location : In the awesome world of Garry's Mod~
|Subject: Starfire Wed Jul 31, 2013 6:10 am|| |
Same as mane, longer than her maneEyes:
A golden star that's supposed to be on fireAge (Baby,adult):
Usually overly confident and cocky, but she does have a heart of gold deep down. She has a undying loyalty toward friends and will support them no matter what. She can be quick to anger, as well. But when push comes to shove, she will shove back, and is an excellent fighter, using her speed to give her an advantage. In tough situations, she's very brave and tough, often displaying it when other ponies around her are frightened.Likes:
Winning, competition, being with friends, flying very fast, being warm, relaxationDislikes:
Loosing, being slow, cloudy days (Ironic, no?), being cold (Hence why she hates cloudy days), being disturbed while relaxing, being insulted for no real reason, bulliesHistory:
Starfire's history is pretty average and normal, she was born and raised in Cloudsdale like all Pegsi. She often did flying competitions with other foals, but often lost. She eventually began to train herself to fly faster, and eventually, her training paid off and she won for the first time. She began to like the feel of winning, the rush of adrenaline when one goes fast enough. She eventually began to win every race she did since then, becoming faster and stronger, but not enough to become a Wonderbolt, but enough to satisfy her. Once she was grown up, she left Cloudsdale and currently lives in Ponyville, but goes back to Cloudsdale now and again to visit her family and old friends.
Example RP segment: 3. It is pouring rain outside. Your OC spots the light of a tavern up ahead. The tavern is filled with ponies that your OC doesn't know. Given your OC’s personality, compose a brief narrative in which your OC identifies and addresses the situation.
It was raining. Lovely. As if it being cloudy before wasn't bad enough. The lavender-colored mare looked around and walked onward. She should fly up to Cloudsdale, but hating the rain so much and the fact she couldn't fly with wet wings, she had no choice but to keep walking. She'll have to find shelter until the storm blows over, at least.
Eventually, she spotted a faint light in the distance. She walked toward it, seeing it was a tavern. Well, better inside that than being in the rain and being cold. She walks inside, her fiery mane and tail dripping and her lavender pelt a darker hue due to the rain. She looks around, all kinds of ponies all over. None of them she even knew. But she wasn't worried.
With a smirk, she walked along, deciding to sit down and have a drink, her walk did make her thirsty. "Strongest drink you got." She says. The barkeeper nods and gives her a shot of their strongest drink. She drank it down without any trouble, but looked at the other ponies who were surprised to see even with a single shot, she hadn't gotten drunk yet. She smirked as she grabbed another shot. "Anypony for a drinking competition?"Acceptance~
Last edited by Nightspeller on Wed Jul 31, 2013 6:40 am; edited 2 times in total (Reason for editing : Fixing up some minor problems)
Posts : 1445
Join date : 2012-11-06
|Subject: Re: Starfire Wed Jul 31, 2013 6:27 am|| |
Expand on your likes and dislikes a bit. And your rp segment seems a bit choppy from too many periods. Add more on to the sentences, plus leaving a trail of smoke seems a bit overpowered. I get that she's fast but maybe a little too fast.
Changes made, but the rp segment still seems really choppy. Try adding more words into your sentences to distance the start of the sentence to the . at the end.
Talked it over with Firework, this app is now APPROVED