Elegance sighed as she read the application, rubbing her eyes.
"Great," she said, "Another good-for-nothing pegasus. Honestly, I don't know why my handler gets me read these things, it's not like he's got better things to do."
Dipping her quill into ink, the young unicorn noble started scribbling beneath the application.
A bit brief with the personality, and history is very choppy with all the short sentences. The rp segment is absolutely starved of actual description, making the reader feel like the characters are floating in some blank void.
Elegance paused, and scratched her nose. She stared before her for a second to think before writing again.
However, if I kick you out because of those reasons, I am undoubtedly going to be called an uptight noble that cares too much about these things. It is clear that there is a severe difference of standards. Your application is approved, but I would hope to see more description of both world outside and feelings inside.
Regards,
Elegance Design
Subject: Wobby Highflyer 
Sat Jul 20, 2013 12:22 am
