My Little Pony:Friendship is Magic OC RP
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My Little Pony:Friendship is Magic OC RP

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princess sky


Posts : 99
Join date : 2013-06-01
Location : now where to be seen don't bother im sneeky

PostSubject: bleed    Wed Jun 12, 2013 7:33 am




Mane:Full on black with white spots.

Tail:Full on black with white spots.

Eyes:Black eyes and red where the black is suppose to be.

Body:Light purple with a bit of red coming to it's hooves.

Cutie Mark:Full on red wings and red dripping down from cutie mark his cutie mark symbolizes Bleed's curse and he like's to fly.

Age (Baby,adult):Colt.

Personality:Bleed isn't shy but he is weird,he hangs in a tree inside the school grounds and they think his evil with those crazy bloody eyes,Bleed loves to read, plays soccer, he writes story's like his big brother but his favourite thing to do is fly,fly high away from the madness that's created my popular people,but the most thing he does is wander who that filly he saw when he was small.

Likes:Reading,writing and flying and going to the clouds to relax,playing in the school trees and play's soccer.

Dislikes:Popular people,serial killers,robbers,Manehatten (which is weird because he lives there but really who want's to live there).

History:Bleed isn't a normal colt he hangs in a tree which amuses him,he lives in Manehatten with his older brother Fay,he has no friends and his cutie mark is red wings,every pony thinks his strange with those strange eyes they think his evil but it's just a curse he got when he was a baby it doesn't do anything to him it just lonely without friends.When he was little he walked down a street and saw a filly crying and saw a pony disappear the little filly got up and faced Bleed,Bleed saw the filly's eyes red glowing evil eyes just like Bleeds but different,the little filly didn't see Bleed in the dark and the filly left for him to see a 2 dead body's. 

Example RP segment:Bleed was walking down Canterlot looking to buy some Delicious food what Bleed didn't know was that a robber was planting a mischievous plan to fraud Bleed so he can get away with it.   

When Bleed wasn't looking the robber quickly ran as fast as he could and put a knife in Bleeds half open bag the robber left a bit of the knife sticking out so then Bleed can be sent to jail "serves you right for messing with me little colt hehehe hahaha"laughed the evil robber.

Bleed didn't know what happened but he bought his food and went to the train station,a guardpony came to bleed to see if there was a weapon which he found in Bleed's bag "what the how did that come in my back"said Bleed "young colt i'm am taking you into custody for holding a vile weapon "wait what no you can't do that i don't know how that got in there please sir you have to trust me isn't there a way i could show you"asked Bleed.

"Maybe did any pony see you come in?"asked the deep Guardpony
"um yes that pony in the stall saw me open my bag and stuff"replied Bleed,Bleed and the guardpony went to the stall and talked apparently the stall pony saw a guy going to Bleed's bag and putting something in his bag the guardpony found the robber and was sent to custody to be integrated.


Last edited by princess sky on Tue Jun 18, 2013 5:52 am; edited 5 times in total
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Posts : 850
Join date : 2011-11-21
Age : 25
Location : roseville

PostSubject: Re: bleed    Thu Jun 13, 2013 5:23 am

You won't have many trees to hang in Manehatten! AHahhaahhaaha. They are only really in abundance in the park. Though still a humorous picture of a small little colt hanging from the tress. 

However I have a few issues. (Personality:Fay isn't shy but he is weird he hangs in a tree,reads, he plays soccer, he writes story's like his big brother but his favorite thing to do is fly,fly high away from the madness.)

I need a bit more here. I need to understand why ponies would find him weird. Does he like eating grass? Does he just act strange? Also You could put reading, writing and playing Soccer under Likes. Also you said you have a brother? Feel free to make him in thr NPC section if you plan to have him be around! We want to know about him.

Also I will need a detailed explanation, limitations and description of your curse. We wouldn't want you getting in trouble after you got approved for not explaining it well, or it quite possibly being against canon of MLP. 

In short. GIVE ME MORE! I want to know about your character. Also I suggest trying a different example for a RP segment. Simply a request though. I have had to read the bully one so many times and I'd love to see your character in situation that he would unlikely find himself in.

Once that's hammered out. I would be glad to approve you once we clear it all up. *Grin*

Also put your age. You put filly silly! 
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Posts : 833
Join date : 2013-02-23
Location : Rivera

PostSubject: Re: bleed    Thu Jun 13, 2013 2:05 pm

To steal stormy's thunder for both official reasons and my own amusement, I'd say it's been lengthened enough aside from one thing.

"he also likes to play on the computer "

Computers aren't canon. This might sound petty but we need to keep this as close to canon as possible.
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PostSubject: Re: bleed    Tue Jun 18, 2013 5:54 am

Changes made. Thou art APPROVED.

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